Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Life is Too Short to be Serious All the Time...

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE?"
"Without Information, Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever !!!"

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Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: "u know the importance of period?"
Kid: "Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away."

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Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
B'coz people started licking the wrong side.

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Women asked man who is traveling with six children, "all these kids are urs?"
"No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: "How urs look like?"
2nd: "She is 5'7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs?"
1st: "Forget mine. Lets find urs!"

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Son asks difference between "in confidence" and "confidential"
Dad says, "In confidence, you are my son, "Your friend is also my son, but that's confidential!"

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Mother to her teenage daughter: "I think this is the right time we should talk about sex."
Daughter (Excitingly) : "Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know."
Mother faints..

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